Where have all my good friends gone??

So, lately....everywhere I look I see this....

Or even harder is this one....

No joke! Since we've been trying to get pregnant, these almost 2 & 1/2 years, both of my sisters have started trying, become pregnant & both had babies, not to mention I've had 8 of my close girlfriends have babies or get pregnant as well. It's made things quite funny to me. Hopefully all these baby vibes will rub off on me sooner rather than later.
But, the hardest part of all of this is NOT that they've gotten pregnant or had sweet babies or meeting their sweet little things & loving each one of them....It's been that ever since this has happened, with each day that passes I keep losing more & more of my close girlfriends! THAT is the part that hurts so bad... I don't know why...it hasn't been anything I've said or done or felt because I LOVE hearing about all of their pregnancy issues or funny stories, or hearing all about the exciting new things their baby is doing & all the sweet or not so sweet little growing moments!! I have LOVED that! That's probably what's keeping me sane throughout this thing because it makes me SOOO happy for them!! Plus, you better BELIEVE when it happens to us, I'm going to be annoyingly posting every little milestone on facebook & screaming it from the rooftops!!!
But, when I'm going through the hardest time in my life & feeling the most "not in control" of my life, that's when I need my girlfriends the most & for some reason they've all stopped hanging out with me or talking to me. What is it? It's nothing I've done... Maybe it's just me, but just because you're at a different place in your life than me doesn't mean I can't be there for you & listen...I'm still the same person minus the craziness these fertility drugs make me feel a couple days out of the month. But, that's not it...I had a lady move into our ward the other day & we were talking with her & she was all talking & laughing & it was great getting to know her a little & then she asked if we had kids & we told her not yet & she just said "Oh...." and just walks the other way. Serious?! haha.
    Is there a "Mommies Only" club that I'm not aware of out there??

Eating my emotions....

So, as I look at this cupcake, hmmm....this cupcake isn't a baby....what am I hoping it's gonna do for me? Dude! I don't even LIKE cake?!?! What is going on?!?! Well, that would be the fact that because I had a bad day...finding out that after my first round of clomid (a fertility drug) and lots of lovin', I did not in fact ovulate this past cycle. Well, I'm SICK of it! I'm sick of being fat! I'm sick of worrying about a baby & I'm sick of not feeling like I belong in my body! I'm tired of swollen feet from crazy hormones & I'm tired of hormones affecting my weight like it has. I'm done blaming things & I'm just ready to kick butt! So, instead of using this blog to share nice things happening to me (there's not much else going on besides work & school & pure exhaustion) I'm going to use it to tell my story of what's going on with me & vent to myself a little bit (for all posterity to read later.....great). It's time for a little therapy for myself! I have stared at my LAST cupcake full of guilt & disapointment, self blaming & iced with a little self loathing for not being able get pregnant this last 2 & 1/2 years & I am going to get skinny! Haha. So...on to my diet....Woot woot!

Yay for iPhones!!

So I just wanted to thank my dear friend Kirie for letting us all know that Blogger has an iPhone app now!!! Sweet! Seeing as how I'm always on my phone & never at home anymore maybe I'll be better at posting!!

Just a quick update on us...Adam is graduated (since last December 2010) & after several short-lived, not the right fit, type jobs, he's now working at the great AAA Service Company for my dad & after a little adjusting & eternal perspective, he is very happy now. I'm working for Ben at Whole Health Chiropractic & love it. And also going to school at TN Academy of Cosmetology part time at night. I totally love it. It's so fun! Plus its a great distraction! We've also been trying to have a baby for about 2 & 1/2 years & no luck so far, but we're still hopeful. Obviously, I have lots to catch everyone up on but this is just for now! We're loving life & each other & are having a blast in this stage in our life! Here are some pics to update you for now! Graduation day & me in my stylin' scrubs with my new sweet nephew, McKay!